When we talk of improving our assertiveness and developing a more assertive personality, what we tend to mean is improving our ability to:
- Stand up to bullies or domineering personalities;
- Resist the pressure and dominance of excessively overbearing people;
- Exert more control in situations that have a bearing on us.
Non-assertive behaviour can be, and usually is, a sign of strength, rather than weakness. It is usually the most appropriate behaviour for any given situation and should in no way be underestimated. Being able to balance both assertive and non-assertive behaviours is key to developing a strong persona.
For people who are not naturally assertive, it is possible to achieve a perfectly suitable level of assertiveness through certain simple methods and techniques. By employing just one or two of these techniques we can all dramatically increase our ability to influence.
Know your subject and have your supporting materials to hand
By knowing your subject matter inside out and having facts to support your assertions, you will inevitably be able to make a strong case while also positioning yourself as being firm and organised.
Anticipate others’ behaviour and rehearse your response
Anticipating how people might respond in different situations will enable you to prepare your response and reduce the likelihood of unwelcome surprises. Role-playing anticipated scenarios will increase your ability to react in the way an employer would like which, in turn, will build confidence.
Prepare and use good, open questions
In pretty much any situation, asking good questions is the most reliable way of gaining the initiative. It shows you possess insight and an incisive question can, when used properly, instantly change the dynamics of a situation.
Re-condition and role-play your preferred reactions to aggressive behaviour
By visualising yourself reacting in a controlled way, you will show yourself to be calm and considered; reducing the opportunity to be dominated in an interview situation. If, for example, you are concerned about being shouted at, then role-play this scenario until it holds less fear for you, and practice it until you can control your emotions.
Salary negotiation can be a difficult and daunting process but, if managed properly, can be simplified considerably. Feelings of trepidation inevitably arise because someone has decided to take the plunge without considering their reasons for the demand or how best to approach the subject. They will feel stressed and under pressure; unable to successfully position themselves. Although there are no guarantees a pay negotiation will succeed, planning ahead and keeping control of your thoughts and emotions will certainly make a difference.
Before even setting up a pay review meeting, make sure you know your market worth. Look at similar jobs both inside and outside the company, and compare them to yours. By taking away the subjective element of the process you are putting yourself in a stronger position to negotiate.
You should also take this time to objectively ask yourself why you want or deserve a salary increase. Put yourself in your employer’s shoes and consider whether your demands are fair and realistic.
If, after considering these points, you believe you have a strong case, ask for a review meeting to discuss your performance and responsibilities, rather than sending an email or a letter to present your case.
By presenting the information you prepared prior to the meeting, you can build a case rather than merely make a request. Even if the negotiation proves unsuccessful, this approach can only increase your chances of receiving a more favourable review in the future.
By being well-networked, you are not only enabling yourself to tap into the hidden job market, but giving yourself a real advantage over other candidates. The key to successful networking is to market yourself using resources available to you and uncover job opportunities that may otherwise be hidden.
The strength of your network will be particularly useful during your job search and the key to making it work for you centres around how well you have managed these relationships. Since you never know when you will need to make use of contacts, it makes sense to maintain a strong and active network, even if you don't need it immediately. Stay in touch with all your contacts – even if it's just a brief note or email to say hello and ask how they are.
Your network should include anyone who can assist you with a job search or career move. It can include past and present co-workers, bosses, colleagues from business associations and friends.
By following a few key guidelines anyone can develop their own highly successful career network.
Employ existing networks
One of the best resources available to a job seeker is the people they know already. These people should know your qualifications and the type of role you are pursuing. Once you have a list of people you feel able to assist you, contact them informally by phone, letter or email. If you are particularly active in the job market, you might also want to send them a copy of your CV as a reference in case they want to forward it to other contacts.
Develop new networks
There are three proven ways to begin extending your network and – although they work perfectly well on their own – when working in conjunction with each other, they generate a host of new opportunities.
Online
Some job sites offer worldwide networking opportunities where users can build their own professional profile and make it available to like-minded people, networkers at specific companies or people in a particular region. Other sites take this one step further by allowing members to create and join online groups to share jobs and job search tips. When networking online, make sure that you know what you want and be specific in your request. People on these sites are there for one thing only, so don’t be afraid to push your agenda.
Trade shows
Trade shows offer numerous opportunities to network with representatives from a host of companies. Even if the trade show is not focused on the area you are interested in, they can still be of value. Representatives from the company will still enable you to tap into an organisation and could open the door to a more appropriate contact. Be sure that when you do attend, you have a set of prepared questions and an up to date CV – you never know when you might need it.
HR departments
You should already have compiled a list of companies that you would like to work for and so the next step is pretty simple. Firstly, compile a list of recruiters or HR professionals in the companies where you want to work. Once you have an up-to-date list, write to the person directly and ask them for information and advice about working for their company. Don’t forget that this is a networking opportunity, so try and get job leads, make contact with colleagues (if they allow it) and have your CV to hand.
Be a resource
If you expect to leverage people in your network, you have to be prepared for people to use you too. If people consider you to be a good resource, they will invariably return the favour. If you become aware of an opportunity that is not relevant to you, send it to the appropriate people in your network. This does not have to be limited to job opportunities, but could also include seminar invitations, drinks receptions etc. Don’t forget – these types of events are also great places to network.
Focus your efforts
People often perceive networking as quantity vs. quality, when in fact it is much better to have five strong connections than to have 100 passing contacts. Networking within focused groups can help establish stronger connections and ultimately leads to more rewarding relationships.
Keep Track of Your Network
Make sure to keep track of your network. Whether you store contacts electronically or on paper, make sure you know who is who, where they work, and how to get in touch. If they move to another address or job, drop them a note to wish them well and find out what they are up to. Their new opportunity could lead to a new opportunity for you.
